The Family Mediation Process
“The first question that many people ask is, just what is the family mediation process?”
Most people will have had very little contact with the legal system during their lives but when they do there maybe a lot of questions.
When a couple are going through a divorce or separation it is a stressful and worrying time. Their lives are dramatically changing and there will be concerns about property, money and maybe children.
With recent changes in the law and the removal of legal for all but a few cases, mediation has become the preferred method for couples undergoing a divorce or separation, especially where children are involved.
The main idea behind mediation is to help couples reach an agreement about their futures rather than arguing it out through the courts.
Mediated divorces and separations, where issues have been freely discussed and negotiated can help bring back trust and understanding between a couple and help them move forward with their lives.
What is important to note is that mediation is both voluntary and confidential.
The mediator is an independent third party who is there to help a couple discuss their issues and try and come to an informed agreement.
A mediator is not there to advise either person or to tell them what to do. However, they will identify options for the couple so that they can reach their own agreement, no matter what the issues are.
Who Can Use Mediation?
The mediation process is open to anyone who is going through a family breakdown, divorce, separation or dissolution of a civil partnership.
It is most often used by couples who are having problems in reaching an agreement as to personal and family arrangements that are effected by the breakdown.
However, other people are able to use mediation and not only the separating couple. For example, grandparents may want to ensure contact with their grandchildren or step parents may want to be involved to support their new partner.
Do I Need To Use A Family Mediator?
Recent changes in the area of family law have meant that a divorcing couple must attend a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with a family mediator before they can go to court.
At the MIAM, the case is discussed in detail and the mediator will state whether the case is right for mediation or not.
The Mediation Process
Mediation can be broken down into a number of stages:
1. Contacting A Mediator
Most people will get in contact with a family mediator after first seeing a family law solicitor.
Contacting a family mediator does not need to come from a solicitor referral and an ever increasing amount of people are now contacting family mediators direct.
This first stage of contact is important as it gives someone the chance to speak to a family mediator.
Both you and the mediator can chat about your situation and discuss how the initial stages work.
2. Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM)
After making contact and speaking to a family mediator, you will be invited to a Mediation Information & Assessment meeting which is commonly known as a MIAM.
It is at this stage that your case is discussed in detail with a family mediator and look at the options that mediation can give.
The mediator will also ask you if you would like the other person in the relationship to be contacted and invited to attend a MIAM.
It is not unusual for couples to attend MIAMs together in an effort to get things moving faster.
It is at this meeting that the family mediator will tell you whether or not your case is right for mediation.
3. The First Mediation Session
At the first mediation session, the mediator will need both of you sign both an agreement to mediate and a confidentiality agreement.
You will go through the principles of family mediation and some ground rules will be set.
The ground rules are very important as it gives both of you a recognised framework within which to discuss the relevant issues.
Both you and your ex-partner will produce an agenda for mediation. From this, the mediator will be able to establish the issues and what common ground can be reached at the start.
4. The Second Mediation Session
If the mediation is for an “all options mediation” or a “finance and property mediation”, the second mediation meeting is generally set aside for aspects of the financial disclosure.
Financial disclosure would mean that you and your ex-partner would bring information about assets and liabilities in an effort to help with any financial division.
Financial disclosure does not always have to happen in the second mediation session. The timetable is not cast in stone. Sometimes people find it difficult to gather all their financial information in the time. If that is the case then financial disclose may be dealt with during an additional session do that all the facts are available before nay discussions or negotiations take place.
You may be asked to make copies of the financial information. You will keep the originals and the copies will be for the mediator.
If the mediation is solely to do with children, their residence, maintenance, contact arrangements, etc., then the options will be discussed with the aim of an agreement being reached. It should be noted that with these discussions the welfare of the children is paramount and, if appropriate, the mediator may ask to speak to them.
5. Further Mediation Sessions
During the course of any mediation session, the mediator will take notes and highlight any agreement that has been reached.
Whereas you may want to take notes yourself during the mediation session, you can ask the mediator to give you a draft copy of what has been discussed and agreed. This can be very useful for everyone as if a further mediation session is needed it lets everyone know where the mast mediation session ended and where the new one should begin.
The amount of mediation sessions required varies on a case by case basis. However, in general terms you can expect the following:
Mediations for child arrangements usually take between 1 and 3 sessions, each session being around 1.5 hours. You may want the mediator to issue you and your ex-partner with an “outcome statement” which will summarise the issues mediated and the agreements reached between you.
Finance and property mediations usually take between 2 and 5 sessions, each session being around 1.5 hours. You may want the mediator to issue you and your ex-partner with an “outcome statement” which will summarise the issues mediated and the agreements reached between you. The outcome statement will include a schedule of assets and liabilities, a schedule of income and expenditure and a Memorandum of Understanding. The Memorandum of Understanding will include your personal information, a brief case outline, finalised schedules, the main points of the negotiation and any agreements made.
All issues mediations generally take up to 5 sessions, each session being around 1.5 hours. Again, you may want the mediator to issue you and your ex-partner with an “outcome statement” which will summarise the issues mediated and the agreements reached between you.
Please note that mediator drafted outcome statements and Memorandums of Understanding may require an additional fee but your mediator will notify you if this is the case.
6. Legal & Financial Advice
A family mediator cannot offer you legal advice or tell you what to do.
Before a mediation can be concluded and final agreements reached the mediator may deem it appropriate for either you and or your ex-partner to take independent legal or financial advice.
In making this decision the mediator is ensuring that both you and your ex-partner are fully aware of the implications of any agreement reached.
7. The Outcome
Mediation is a completely voluntary process and no one can be forced to mediate.
It maybe the case that the mediation is “put on hold” part way through and then revisited at a later date. This is not unusual as people may want to think about things or discuss matters with family members or new partners.
If you have appropriate reasons for stopping or suspending the mediation then this can be discussed with the family mediator.
The agreements reached during family mediation are not legally binding however, research has shown that agreements made between estranged couples through mediation usually last longer and have better outcomes for all those involved.
If you have received an options statement or a Memorandum of Understanding this can be taken to a family solicitor and be drafted into a consent order. This consent order can then be presented before a court which will make it legally binding.
We hope that this information has been of use and if you would like any further information please do not hesitate to contact us.
About The Family Mediation Practice
The Family Mediation Practice is a team of independent family mediators who help divorcing and separating couples to come to an agreement rather than fighting things out in the courts.
Depending on your circumstances, legal aid could be available to fund your family mediation.
Contact The Family Mediation Practice
You can contact any of our independent family mediators direct by calling 0333 567 0377. You can also send a confidential message by clicking here.
